7 Signs Your Child Has Psychomotor Overexcitability

7 Signs Your Child has Psychomotor overexcitability

When my son was born we treated ourselves to a lovely new play arch. I had fond visions of my baby contentedly engaging with the arch as I played with his sister nearby. But my newborn son had other ideas.

Within weeks Jasper had rolled onto his tummy and was trying to air-swim his way across the room. He literally turned his back on the toy I’d provided, in search of what he wanted to explore. He hasn’t stopped moving since.

When he was two, Jasper’s ‘afternoon nap’ meant lying on his bed, legs kicking against the wall, happily chattering and singing to himself for an hour.  I didn’t mind as long as I had time to recharge, ready for another afternoon with my busy little boy.

Jasper has psychomotor overexcitability – an abundance of energy (or an inability to keep still, depending how you look at it. We prefer the former ;-)).

Here are 7 signs your child might have psychomotor overexcitability. Remember that even if your child only has one of these behaviours, he might still have psychomotor OE – it’s more a case of degree than number.

1. He’s always in motion

Whether he’s gesticulating wildly as he tells you about his latest Minecraft creation, standing up at the table as he eats his dinner or rebounding against your bed when he comes into your room at 10:30pm to share an idea that can’t wait until morning – this child is never still.

Jasper, now ten, has two bins in his bedroom.  It’s not that he makes a lot of rubbish, it’s just that he can’t keep his feet still and I got tired of picking pencil sharpenings out of the carpet. Now as he sits at his desk Jasper kicks an empty bin around to his heart’s content, and throws his trash in a second bin a few feet away. The wall under his desk is a bit scuffed, but that’s the kind of compromise you get used to when you have a child with psychomotor overexcitability.

7 Signs Your Child has Psychomotor overexcitability
At least my pretty arch got some use …

2. She talks quickly and all the time

And when she gets excited or overwhelmed, both speed and volume increase even more.  Everyone in our family speaks quickly. When Cordie and I get together with my aunt and her daughters I find it miraculous how we seem to all speak at once yet everyone  follows what everyone else is saying perfectly. To us it doesn’t feel like we speak quickly, but that other people speak slowly. Thank goodness for the triple speed button on Audible.

3.He’s always singing, often his own made-up tunes

I love overhearing Jasper’s joyful voice when he’s in the bath or playing with his dinosaurs. If he’s had a meltdown, I smile with relief when I hear him humming to himself a little while later – a sure sign he’s refound his equilibrium.

4. She’s a prolific art and crafter

When she was at pre-school, Cordie would bring home so many paintings that I used to wonder how the nursery could afford the paper. Then one day a teacher mentioned that for every painting the other children made, Cordie would make ten. Now twelve-years-old, Cordie still paints, draws, makes popsicle stick houses and spray painted T-shirts and – her latest passion – intricately paints her nails with a different design every day.

7 Signs Your Child has Psychomotor overexcitability

5. He’s extremely competitive

In my post You Know Your Family Has Overexcitabilities When… I mentioned that although everyone in my family loves board games, we rarely manage to finish one.

I’ve always encouraged my kids to value participation and enjoyment over beating other people, so before I learned about OEs I used to wonder how on earth I’d created such a competitive child.  I was almost relieved to discover that competitiveness is a common aspect of psychomotor OE. Now, instead of blaming myself, I can focus my energy on helping Jasper manage his reactions.

One of the great OE ironies is that kids with psychomotor overexcitability find it so difficult to take part in group sports. It takes a lot of parental commitment and creativity to find outlets for all that energy!

6. You know he’s very bright, but his teachers may not agree

According to psychologist and OE expert Susan Daniels, psychomotor OE is significantly correlated with high intelligence. Unfortunately, a child who’s not challenged in school and can’t keep still or quiet when he’s bored is more likely to be seen as disruptive and annoying than to be placed in the gifted class. So instead of being given more appropriate projects and the freedom to approach them in whatever way inspires him, this child is at best sidelined and at worst misdiagnosed, which brings me onto  …

7. Someone’s suggested he has ADHD

When you put a bright child with heaps of energy in an under-stimulating environment he’ll often fidget, interrupt and fail to do tasks. Even when he’s highly engaged, a child with overexcitabilities might not be able to stop himself blurting out questions and answers. While it is of course possible to have both psychomotor OEs and ADHD, experts suspect that the latter is widely misdiagnosed in children with OEs.

When Jasper was eight a senior occupational therapist, observing his meltdowns on the football field, suggested that we put him on ADHD medication so we didn’t “miss the narrow window when he can learn social skills”. But I’d seen my son focus for hours building giant Lego structures or playing with his toy dragons, and I knew how calm and polite he could be in the right environment. None of those behaviours were consistent with what I knew about ADHD.

Of course it’s my long term goal to help Jasper manage his emotions in any environment he finds himself in, but drugging him with medication developed to treat a disorder he doesn’t have probably won’t help us achieve it.

Psychomotor Overexcitability – Further Resources

Although I’m a qualified therapist and coach, my knowledge of overexcitabilities comes mainly from personal experience i.e. observing my own family and speaking with other families I’ve met through PowerWood (the UK’s largest organisation supporting families dealing with OE.)

Here are a few places where you can find more information about psychomotor OE and the other overexcitabilities:

Websites

PowerWood – Psychomotor OEs

Jade Ann Rivera – How to Identify and Cope with Overexcitabilities, Part 4 of 5: Psychomotor Overexcitability

Books

Living With Intensity: Understanding the Sensitivity, Excitability and Emotional Development of Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Adults (Daniels and Piechowski)

Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of Gifted Children and Adults (James T Webb)

Over to you

  • Can you think of anything I’ve missed?
  • What does psychomotor overexcitability look like in your family?
  • Can you recommend any other resources?
  • What else would you like to know about psychomotor OE?  Here are some ideas I’ve had for future posts:
    • What do you do when your child has psychomotor OE and can’t do group sports?
    • How to help your child learn when he can’t keep still.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below or on Facebook, or feel free to drop me an email.

My aim in writing this series on the five types of overexcitability is to help you recognise whether overexcitabilities are present in your family. I spent years doubting myself as I searched for the best way to parent my two non-average children, all the while completely in the dark about what I was dealing with.  Discovering OEs was like being handed the missing instruction manual.

If you recognise OEs in yourself or your child, I hope you’ll stick around to share my journey of discovery into how to enjoy the many positives OEs can bring while learning to manage the accompanying challenges.

Next in this series I’ll be looking at sensual OE.

See also my other posts in the series:

6 Things you need if your child has intellectual overexcitability

The ups and downs of imaginational OE

15 Things your child with emotional overexcitability might say

***

I’m appreciatively linking up at #coolmumclub.

#coolmumclub

 

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28 thoughts on “7 Signs Your Child Has Psychomotor Overexcitability

  1. Apart from the top one, I can definitely see me in all the others. I think probably the top one applied when I was younger. The teachers at my primary school certainly thought. They had me sitting at their desk all day so I couldn’t distract the other children! At my lovely secondary school they seemed to harness that energy and turned my life around, fully loving and accepting me as I was (I went to Old Palace in Croydon).
    I do think it is very important we are loved for simply being ourselves.

    1. Claire, I love the story of your secondary school (and I can imagine your friends at both schools finding you highly entertaining!). You’re right, everyone deserves that love and recognition, no matter how they’re wired. One of my favourite things about your blog is the way you clearly cherish the uniqueness in each of your children.

      Psychomotor OE in adults is an interesting one. I used to think I didn’t have it because I’m sooo not one of those people entering triathlons and marathons every weekend – I’m much happier sitting writing at my computer. Then Simone de Hoogh suggested that perhaps my desire to be constantly doing something (even if pondering a problem at my computer) was evidence of psychomotor OE. Shortly after that, Cordie and I went to the theatre to see Benedict Cumberbatch’s mesmerising performance as Hamlet. On the way home, Cordie commented (sweetly) that I hadn’t sat still for more than 30 seconds during the whole play. I thought back and realised that I’m always the one fidgeting in my seat at performances or on courses, even when I’m totally engrossed. I once googled whether my wriggliness was due to an unusual calf-to-thigh ratio 😂 but now I know it’s just my overexcitable nervous system!

      1. Hi Lucinda! Your post has so described both me and my son.
        As a young girl, I was called “Atom Ant” and “Sarah Bernhardt” because I was always on the move and very theatrical. I was also often sent out of the classroom because I couldn’t stop talking. I was always in trouble with my dad because I kept touching his things and either misplacing or breaking them. Sadly, my family didn’t understand me, and neither did I.
        As an adult, I am always active, either physically, mentally, or both. I have all 5 OEs. Honestly, before reading Dabrowski’s theory, I had the slight suspicion that I was a little crazy, maybe sequels from huge psychological issues I suffered as a young adult.

        Actually, I started researching the topic because of my son. He’s a carbon copy of me in many senses. Psychomotor OE is his strongest OE. He crawled for one week until he stood up and soon he started walking sideways by holding on to objects. He learned to walk at 11 months and soon afterwards he was climbing up and down stairs in our building. At 5 he learned to ride a bike without stabilizers. He’s always been restless (I definitely suspected ADHD! but he can also concentrate deeply even for periods beyond his age) very competitive, perfectionistic, supersensitive, and at times he wants to speak so fast that he stutters or speaks with many false starts. He also bites his nails and fingers because of his anxiety.
        Because of his strong will and fussiness, his restlessness and fits of rage, we’ve often been accused of spoiling him. In fact, we’re setting boundaries all the time, but he needs to keep trying to go his own way. He keeps asking why? when given any instruction, and won’t accept just any explanation.

        1. Hi Carina,
          Thank you for taking the time to share your story in so much detail. I love hearing what other families with OEs are like – as you point out, we’re a diverse bunch. Having said that, it sounds like your son has many similarities to mine. And I can certainly relate to your ‘always active’ comment about yourself!
          I’m sure other people will enjoy reading your comment, too. It’s great to ‘meet’ you. 🙂

  2. Gosh, I had never heard of psychomotor OE before reading this. Thank you for a very informative and personal post. I will be back to read more in the future. #coolmumclub

  3. Wow this is really interesting! I didn’t know this was actually a thing, but it seems to describe so much of my daughter which does make me wonder as I just thought she was on overdrive all the time..I’ll have to read up further about it! Thanks so much for linking to #coolmumclub and raising awareness of this! x

    Talya – http://www.motherhoodtherealdeal.com

    1. Thank you, Talya. I didn’t realise it was a thing either until last year. So little is talked about it in the UK especially.

      It’s thought that about 20% of people have OEs, but only about 2-4% have them to a degree that they need a bit of extra help managing themselves. For the parents of that minority, life can be very lonely because traditional parenting methods just don’t work with them – but try telling that to onlookers! I started Laugh, Love, Learn to spread the word about OEs so that other parents can get the support and find the community they need.

      1. You’ve nailed it. Traditional parenting methods just don’t work. I have been reading parenting material before my son was born. Have tried every recipe. A couple of strategies have helped a bit… Some have actually backfired! You have to write your own “parenting manual” that works for YOUR child (which I guess not work if you have another child with OEs!). Trial and error much of the time!

  4. thanks you
    my son had same signs , and i can add how he likes languages. .
    but really i don’t know what i should do for him.. especially his teacher doesn’t believe of his qualifications. .i already tested him..and he recognise of the gifted children. ..but what i should do now

    1. Hi Donia. Thank you for your comment.

      My answer to your question depends firstly on what you’re looking for. Is it general advice on helping your son, or was there something specific you’re concerned about?

      Secondly, depending on where you live, you might want to go to a PowerWood workshop. There next one is in London on 12/13 March – ‘Intensity, super-sensitivity and hyper-reactivity’. If that doesn’t work for you (or anyway) you might want to contact Simone de Hoogh who specialises in coaching parents of children with OEs. Simone offers a free introductory coaching session.

      For me, realising that my son had OEs was a crucial first step in helping him. That’s why I’m beginning this blog with a series describing of each of the OEs – to help other people identify them. When the series is finished I’m planning to share some of the tools and strategies that have helped us to manage the OEs.

      Please feel free to email me or leave another comment if you’d like to ask anything else.

  5. I suggest reading more about Dabrowski’s Theory of Positive Disintegration to fully understand the significance of overexcitabilities. Piechowski and colleagues focused more on overexcitabilities, but others have criticized this approach for failing to situate OEs in the broader context of Dabrowski’s development theory. A couple links: http://www.positivedisintegration.com/TillierPiechowski.htm and http://sengifted.org/archives/articles/dabrowskis-theory-of-positive-disintegration-some-implications-for-teachers-of-gifted-students

    1. Thank you very much for those links. I confess I’m near the start of my journey of discovery in this area and certainly no expert. My intention is to share what I’m learning in a way that other parents can relate to.

      In the UK in particular there’s a dearth of information available about OEs, with the result that many parents are left feeling extremely isolated and at a loss to know how to help their children.

      Dabrowski’s Theory of Positive Disintegration is fascinating and I do want to learn more about how OEs fit with the broader theory. My immediate priority is helping my children grow into happy, well-adjusted adults, though. And if I can help anyone else along the way, so much the better.

  6. It’s such a complex issue that misdiagnosis is therefore very common, as in the case of Jasper being labeled ADHD incorrectly. He’s very lucky to have a mother who is alert to his other moments of long concentration periods (which defies the ADHD diagnosis) and not put him on the prescribed drugs. I’ve met quite a few children on these ADHD medications, and can only say that I would advise extreme caution if one chooses to use them.

    1. I agree, Hwee. I’m sure there are children for whom the drugs are beneficial, but given that we don’t yet know their long-term effects I think we need to be very careful that we only prescribe them as a last resort when everything else has been ruled out. Unfortunately overexcitabilities (exacerbated by under-stimulation in the educational environment) can cause behaviour that looks a lot like ADHD, yet very little is known about them by mainstream health professionals, so misdiagnosis is a real risk.

    2. Hyperfocus does occur in kids with ADD, so it’s not a slam-dunk that a child who appears to focus for long periods doesn’t have it. Especially if it’s a self-chosen task in their area of strength. It would be more a question of whether the child has any actual problems with school or home life that seem to be caused by hyperactivity or attention deficit. If you’ve got a perfectly happy kid who is doing fine in school but is just “busy,” that’s not a big problem. OTOH, if you’ve got a kid who will draw for hours but can’t seem to finish a page of schoolwork to save their life, there might be something to worry about.

      1. Exactly…my son has all of those symptoms and I didn’t think he had ADHD because he could focus for hours on legos or TV yet he could not complete an easy page of homework. His self esteem was non existent and he hated school. The “evil” medications turned his life around. He is so much happier. I know medications are not for every child. Some kids have a lot of energy but it doesn’t affect their school work, self esteem and social life. Medication are definitely needed in my opinion when a child with ADHD symptoms is miserable and unable to complete simple tasks.

        1. Gen, I’m so glad ADHD medications are helping your son. I agree that a child’s wellbeing is paramount, and if your son is happier and his self-esteem is improved on the meds then I can completely see why you are using them.

      2. Irene, Thank you for your contribution on this interesting subject. I am always wary of making sweeping judgements because there is so much wonderful diversity out there, and what works for one child in the light of his or her particular needs and circumstances may not be appropriate for another.

        I do think it’s important to look carefully at the environment, though, when we’re considering what best serves a child’s needs. There might be many reasons why a child ‘can’t’ finish a page of schoolwork – for example, the work might not be challenging enough to hold the child’s interest, or perfectionism might hold him back.

        Having said that, I’ve sometimes wondered whether ADD medication might help me in my life. I’m really not dead set against it in the right circumstances.

  7. I am a mother of three gifted children with OEs and I have all of the OEs too. My 12 year old daughter’s psychomotor OE differs from my boys, she is very task oriented and HAS to be doing something at all times and always has been. She gave up naps at 1 1/2 and always needed less sleep than other infants. She also started rolling across a room like a log at 2 1/2 months old but I feel like her movements have always been more about moving to get something she wanted rather than moving for moving sake. She talked in sentences at 1 1/2 and asked non stop questions usually about why we were doing things and what we would be doing next. Now that she is older I see this OE most in the way she always has to be doing something and have her plans all set.

    My 10 year old son on the other hand actually slept a ton and was a more mellow infant but once he could move easily he was always moving and fidgeting just for the sake of needing to move. He is my introverted child and I think a lot of the reason he could stay less active when he was younger was related to that because the world around him was all so new that it was so engaging he could focus. He was my one child that would be peaceful and happy in a stroller and he always had this deep look of wonder in his eyes, the brain was moving and a fast speed and he was focused on that instead. Once he was 3/4 he was always moving and fidgeting without even realizing he was doing it but he could always be focused and stay still when fully mentally engaged and challenged by something so he did ok in school because the teachers would see that he could sit still when they were doing work that challenged him. We put him in a 100% Spanish Immersion school to help keep him challenged which worked until he hit grade 2 because then speaking fluently and writing pages in Spanish with perfect spelling and grammar and getting 100% on everything and was bored. He entered a mixed age radically excellerated gifted program at another school in Grade 3 with a bunch of other gifted kids who also have OEs so having to sit still was no longer expected. One interesting thing that happened this year though in 5th is that he started to have more issues with being able to stay still than ever before and we have discovered that this was due to the fact that he is the oldest grade in the program now and with his super high IQ score he can process and learn so quickly that he was no longer challenged enough and he came to me and told me that he realized that the reason he was unable to sit still most of the day now was because the class was moving too slow for him. This proved to be true because we got him into middle school part time for Math and Science at 8th/7th grade level and he is able to sit still and focus in both of those hour long classes every day. This is an important story I like to share now because you can see how this could have gone in a horrible direction. Most people are not going to support the idea of sending a kid to middle school when they are literally rolling on the floor during lessons in their 5th grade class, they are going to find it hard to believe that moving them to an older grade part time with much older kids is going to solve the excess movement problem but with some kids with psychomotor OE it will!

    Our youngest son who is now 5 is classic psychomotor OE. I never thought an infant in the womb could find ways to move so many body parts at the same time but he could! He was a fidgeter from birth and he started coo talking as loud as he could at age 2 months. Before he was even 1 he would make sounds to the tune of songs played often in our home. I have videos of him “uh-uhing” the overture to Les Mis (our daughter was in that play during that time). He also needed much less sleep and gave up naps a little before age 2. Since age 3 he wakes up taking and asking questions and is still doing that same thing 30 minutes after he has been put to bed, yelling them through the door. All day he is either talking, singing, or making animal or machine noises and his inside voice is louder than most people’s public speaking voices. It is very hard for me sometimes because of my sensual OE which causes me to sometimes have sensory overload meltdowns where I need calm and quiet and dim lights etc. It is so tough sometimes to be a parent of OE kids when you struggle with the OE’s yourself. Grade K has been a challenge for our boy this year but luckily his teacher is very understanding and supportive of his giftedness and the issue it causes when he is trying to function in a traditional K classroom. She says she was a gifted child who never stopped talking so she understands him and helps him so much. It is a true gift and blessing.

    My psychomotor OE makes me fidget ALL the time, even in my sleep (my poor husband tells me all about it). I also always have to be doing something and I have had many instances where my mind will race so fast with overlapping differing thoughts that I literally cannot keep up. I also have a very tough time shutting my brain off so I can go to sleep at night. As crazy as this may sound I have found improvement for these rushing mind symptoms by eliminating processed wheat/gluten from my diet. I also find I sleep better at night if my before bed snack is a dense carb like a banana with a glass of milk or a sweet potato or a small bowl of oatmeal. Just throwing these out there for any other psychomotor OE people that may want to try this to see if it helps them.

    I only learned about the OEs about 2 years ago and I only learned a few months ago about how people with OEs actually have different wiring in their central nervous systems. This has been enlightening for me to learn because I finally have a scientific reason behind why I am so different and why I felt so different growing up, my mom and dad and brother and sister do not have the OEs. It is so fulfilling to understand that I felt different because I really am different! Thank you for starting this blog. I look forward to participating here and reading what you and others share.

    1. Jenn,

      Wow! Thank you so much for taking the time to share about your children and yourself. What a contribution! I can relate to so much of what you’ve said, and I’m sure others will too.

      As well as providing some fantastic examples of OE behaviours, I love the way you’ve shown what’s possible for children with OEs when their needs are met. Your children are so lucky to have a mother who understands them and is such an advocate for them. I completely see what you mean about how things could have gone in a horrible direction if your son hadn’t had that support.

      “…his inside voice is louder than most people’s public speaking voices. It is very hard for me sometimes because of my sensual OE which causes me to sometimes have sensory overload meltdowns where I need calm…”

      Yes! 🙂 I home-educate my children and I need a separate room to base myself in when we’re not working together. If I forget to go there we all suffer!

      “It is so fulfilling to understand that I felt different because I really am different!”

      Indeed! I felt such relief when I finally learned about overexcitability.

      I can entirely believe what you say about wheat/gluten. A cranial osteopath once suggested we try Jasper on a low gluten, dairy and sugar free diet. We tried it for a few years and it did make a big difference. It makes sense that if someone with sensitivities might be sensitive to certain foods, too.

      Thank you, Jenn, for your encouragement about this blog, and for your offer to participate in the discussion. I’m looking forward to ‘chatting’ with you again.

    2. Jenn,
      This reply is probably way too late (over a year later) but I just came across it. I think I’ve definitely got the psychomotor OE, and it looks like my 6 year old daughter has it too. I have a hard time stopping. I wanted to share with you the one thing I discovered that slowed me down and seemed to help…ashtanga yoga. It’s a lot of meditation…deep breathing, regulating your breathing and om stuff. There’s some chanting, but I skip that part as I’m christian.

      When I did this yoga, my ex commented that he’d never seen me so calm and relaxed. It really brought out a different side! I was finally able to get my mind to stop and empty. You might check it out.

      1. Nan,
        Thank you for mentioning yoga! I’m so glad it has worked so well for you. I’ve enjoyed ashtanga yoga in the past, too.

        Yoga is especially helpful when you have OEs because of the way it works with both body and mind at once, isn’t it? (Not that they are as separate as many would think, but that’s another conversation ;))

        Thank you for contributing to the conversation. I’m sure other people as well as Jenn will find your comment useful!

  8. Thank you so much for sharing this. My 9 year old daughter is almost exactly like that, since babyhood and yes she was often given wrong label. I just learned about psychomotor OE and I’m very glad I found this. She is homeschool, which is good because we can focus on developing her interest ( art ).
    PS: Please forgive my English,
    Sending my love to you and your family from Indonesia 😊

    1. Laksmira,

      Thank you so much for your lovely comment (written in perfect English!).

      How lovely that your daughter is able to focus her energy on what she is interested in. We homeschool too. I think if we didn’t, my daughter’s art would have been squashed out by the competing demands of homework and school by now.

      Love to you and your family too. 🙂

  9. Oh thank God. I’m in tears having stumbled here. For 5 years I have not once looked up ADHD online. Tonight, I did. After 4 hours of non-stop motion, a Dr.’s apt where she ‘pretended’ to suddenly not want her ears checked, dinner out where she changed her mind 4 times while the waitress waited, telling me I’m a horrible mother and “starving her to death” (due to no dessert), desperate pleas to snuggle, then a 30 min argument including several “I hate you”‘s over teeth brushing and bed; I looked up ADHD. My daughter is 8. She is highly gifted. Last year we turned into a family I never thought we would- activities every day of the week. 3.5 hours of gymnastics/2x week. Girls group 2 hours 2x week. Church group 2x week. She moved up a grade in math, and is pulled from classes to participate in a small Socratic seminar weekly at school. During school people sing her praises. She is helpful, kind, patient. At home she is another child. Impulsive, mean, sometimes verbally abusive to her brother (age12) and I (mom), non-compliant. It’s heartbreaking.

    So tonight I just hit the bottom. I have never wanted to think about medicating or labeling. But tonight I just didn’t care any more. I truly was at the point where if I had to force feed her a pill that would make her tolerable – I’d do it. I have another child, also highly gifted, and he takes all her abuse to heart. In my mind it had gotten to the point that I needed to switch gears from just trying to stay afloat with my girl, to needing to protect my son.

    So I read about ADHD. And that’s not it. She had control. In school, at church, at others homes, she is well behaved. She can follow directions, play, interact within all the social norms. In fact, people say she has excellent manners! What a surprise.

    But then I stumble upon this. These oe’s. It all makes sense. Her need to be constantly in motion. Her behavior when she’s not. Why she loves and needs me so much one minute then hates me the next. Sometimes she says to me – since she was very young, “Do you sometimes feel like you’re not even in the world? Like you’re not even alive?” And it crushes me when she says it. I have felt that, but at 4 or 5 or 8?

    My heart has become harder to reach over the last few years. Being beaten every day by your child’s words and emotions makes it difficult to stay open to anyone. It’s easier to just wake up, put your “I’m not going to let you do this today” face on, and roll with that.

    So, I’m here now, and in the morning I’ll snuggle her if she will let me, and I’ll start the day understanding a little more about where she is. I’ll have renewed compassion. And I’ll try letting down my guard.

    Thank you.

    1. Hi,
      Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story. I resonate with so much of what you say. I too was moved to tears when I found out about OEs. Suddenly everything made sense – about my son (the reason I was looking for answers) but also about my daughter and myself.

      I’m so glad you’ve found this blog – and hopefully now the wider OE-supporting community. Are you on FaceBook? If so, you might want to joining the PowerWood Group, which now has over 400 lovely members, all of whom are doing our best to bring up our intense, sensitive (often gifted) children.

      Your daughter is very lucky to have such a compassionate mother and brother. I can identify with what you say about feeling crushed by some of the things she says, and feeling beaten by her words and emotions. It reminds me of one of my own low points, when I literally lay down beside the car and let my daughter (then about 5) physically walk all over me. Sounds crazy now, but I think a few people with intense and sensitive children might empathise!

      Your words touched me so much – I can’t tell you how much I appreciated them. Thank you again for writing – I hope you’ll share more in the future. 🙂

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